Links found between sociopaths and men who wear Lycra in public

Professor Lisa Wilson from the University Of Queensland said her research proved there was something shameful about the attire and not having that shame was a sign of sociopathic qualities.

“Human beings are meant to be embarrassed in certain situations”

“One of those situations is wearing skin tight, ball hugging outfits in public places”

“To not have that shame is a major sign of sociopathic tendencies.”

Professor Wilson’s research also proved that wearing Lycra has a minimal impact on the overall speed achieved by a cyclist.

“We found that the difference between wearing Lycra and regular clothes amounted to a few seconds in most cases.”

“In other words, they wear those outfits and still reach their destination in practically the same amount of time. This does not reflect well on their personalities either”

West End resident and frequent visitor to the numerous cafes around the area, Paul Walker, said he was tired of his favourite coffee shops being overrun by cyclists every morning.

“I’m all for people exercising and having fun but i feel like I get way too intimate with these Lycra people sometimes”

“You’re not supposed to look at a man’s clothing and be able to tell if he’s circumcised or not”