Homeless revolt after Brisbane soup kitchen doesn’t offer gluten free option

There were scenes at Brisbane meals on wheels today after the gluten free branch of the homeless community were forced to go without their free lunch.

It is believed the disgruntled few had watched a documentary about gluten through a shop front window and decided an empty stomach was better than one filled with the wheat protein.

Pidge Mackville, undress unknown, said it was a common misconception that only the privileged among us had the luxury of rejecting gluten.

“Just cause we’re homeless doesn’t mean we’re not prone to the same dietary needs as the fancy white people who annoy staff at every restaurant with their insane dietary requirements”

“I wouldn’t even feed this stuff to my dog and the last meal he had was bubble gum stuck to a sidewalk”

Gluten free believers have long endured the scorn of normal people due to the fact that they’re a bunch of inner city white people with a habit of creating dietary problems in order to have something to talk about.

We spoke to one such believer, Stacey Lee, who said going gluten free had fixed dietary problems she didn’t even know she had and also gave her something to talk about at parties.

“I’ve always wanted to be a different in some way but never really knew how”

“When I heard you could be intolerant to a type of food I thought that’s just the thing for me. Now i have something that sets me apart from others”

“It’s like my own personal cross to bear that i can bring up at every meal”