Scientists discover Earth is purposely creating climate change to rid itself of humans

Earth has sweltered through it’s hottest year ever recorded but leading climate change scientists now believe it’s a deliberate defense mechanism to rid itself of the most harmful species to ever exist.

Humans have been around for close to 200,000 years according to science or 2500 years according to religion and in that time have done far more harm to the environment than good.

Climate change scientists have finally drawn the dots and realised that if Earth had any kind of common sense it would purposely make things difficult for us as humans

Nobel Prize winning scientist, Larsen Norberg, said it was similar to a body giving itself a fever in order to rid itself of a harmful virus, or a dog biting it’s skin to rid itself of fleas.

“It seems the planet has finally come to it’s senses and realised all it’s problems could be fixed overnight if it just got rid of us” said Nobel Prize winning scientist Lars Norberg.

“Nature has a way of balancing things out and by heating things to an uncomfortable level it only hastens our demise”

“The planet can handle a little extra heat. The whole centre is boiling lava but we’re the ones who will struggle. The planet isn’t going anywhere”

When asked if there was anything we could do to fix our situation Mr Norberg was about as optimistic as a non Asian kid at a spelling bee.

“Forget about your children and your children’s children. The best thing you can do for the planet right now is a big line of blow, bang a stripper without a condom and then tie something heavy to your waist and slowly walk out into the ocean like a gentleman.”

“Head held high”