Descendants of convicts forced from their English homelands in 1788 demand date change

Change the date protesters have found an unlikely ally today after the white ancestors of the first convicts also called for Australia day to be moved.

The date signifies a horrible time for the first fleet convicts as they were kicked out of their native land and forced to board a boat to a foreign shore. Often for no greater crime than stealing a loaf of bread.

The convicts suffered greatly at the hands of their British lords, as was the custom at the time, and this trauma still affects the descendants of those convicts.

One ancestor, Tom Freeman, bravely spoke to us about the horrible treatment his ancestor endured.

“My great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was driven from his home in England and forced into a life of slavery and servitude”

“He was taken from his land because someone accused him of being an atheist and that was all it took back then”

“This date is a horrible reminder of how evil the British were to my people and we want it changed”

Mr Freeman also urged his fellow convict descendants to reclaim the British land his people were forced from.

“My ancestor was taken from that land against his will and we want it back”

“The British had no right to steal his land in 1788 and bring him to Australia”

“Always was, Always will be my ancestors land”

We spoke to the British Government about the complaints and they gave the following statement.

“We have a long history of robbery, rape and murder. In fact there’s not a single person, black or white, who’s ancestors haven’t suffered at the hands of the British.”

“We used to force our 8 year old children to work in coal mines for pennies and most of them died cause people were expendable to us in those days. If Oliver Twist begged us for more gruel, he’d get a beating. We were an evil empire and being black or white had nothing to do with it.”

“Now if the ancestors of these convicts want to change the date then so be it”

“But if there’s one thing we learnt from all our years of world dominance and oppression it’s that finding an excuse to be a victim in your past has never lead to a stronger future.”

“Keep squabbling over a date and see how far you progress”

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