Australians enjoy first day in post racial paradise after hottest 100 date change

Australian’s across the country awoke this morning to find people from all races living in harmony after Triple J changed the date of it’s countdown.

The countdown, which was the source of all the racial problems in Australia, changed its date in order to eradicate the high levels of socioeconomic issues faced by aboriginal people.

Head of Triple J, Richard Kingsmill, said he was over the moon with the changes he and his kind, caring listeners managed to bring about.

“It’s all been fixed. The life expectancy gap is gone. Crime and poverty no longer exist.”

“Young people going through their caring about the world phase have made all this possible”

“Who knew we could fix this issue with such an easy change”

Triple J artist Briggs, who shot to fame acting like he was straight out of Compton, said he was proud that the debate had given him the publicity he desired to sell records.

“Yo, yo, yo listen up. Our work here is done. We’ve managed to change the date and raise my publicity all at the same time.”

“I’m so happy that the countdown took the blame for all the issues prevalent in aboriginal communities”

“Thanks to all people who supported and voted for me thinking that made them a good person”