Trump says military parade will include swimsuit category like his Miss Universe days

U.S. President Donald Trump has announced his military parade will include a swimsuit category in order to show off the military’s sassier side.

Trump was the former owner and judge of the Miss Universe parades and said he wanted to bring that kind of experience to a military environment.

Parade organiser, Joseph Campbell, said The Don asked him to incorporate America’s 2 favourite things into the parade, tits and war.

“What we’re hoping for is a for some scantily clad soldiers to parade before The Don while he sits back and rates them from above”

“The Don just loves people parading before him while he judges them. Makes him feel like a god.”

“Can’t be a healthy thing but i’ve got to do my job”

One U.S. Soldier, Stacey Brady, said she was thrilled to be part of the parade and hoped The Don would be satisfied with the military’s sizeable assets.

“I just hope he also gives us a chance to die for him”