Barnaby’s girlfriend told to avoid loitering at top of staircases as things heat up for Mr Joyce

The doctor of Barnaby Joyce’s girlfriend has advised her to not linger at the top of any staircases while warning her that men under as much pressure as Barnaby are sometimes prone to acts of madness.

While not explicitly saying it, Dr George Watt hinted that Barnaby might be tempted to push the pregnancy away if you know what he means.

“We know he’s under immense pressure and it’s only a matter of time before he slowly descends into madness” Dr Watt told Ms Campion while she was getting a routine checkup.

“Men in that position can sometimes start thinking “Just a little push and it all goes away”

“I’m not saying to lose sleep but it can’t hurt to stay on single story ground”

Ms Campion’s pregnancy has made an already tough few months even worse for Mr Joyce and it’s only a matter of time before he reaches breaking point.

As pressure continues to mount there are rumours he’s increasingly muttering to himself throughout the halls of parliament house.

“Just a little push and it all goes away”

Editors Note: The Stockton Times has always prided itself on being a family friendly publication and we’d wish to state that we in no way advocate pushing your pregnant girlfriend down the stairs in order to end a troublesome pregnancy.

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