Local man congratulates himself for not staring at approaching midget

Josh Lewis has given himself a little pat on the back today after he made a conscious effort not to stare at the midget approaching him on a particularly empty and long street.

Midgets are known to stick to less densely populated areas and this made things worse for Mr Lewis as there were few distractions to look at except for the giant, tiny one waddling towards him.

“Boy was that hard. I really wanted to see if he had those little arms and whether he was wearing little boys clothes and sneakers but I stayed strong and looked away”




“I just stared at the ground and as we passed i was lucky enough to see that he was in fact wearing little boys sneakers, with the velcro straps and all”

“At least i got some closure in that regard”

The midget in question, Lil Nome, said he knew exactly what Mr Lewis was thinking as they passed as it’s the exact same reaction he’s gotten for the last 20 years.

“First their eyes light up like a deer and you can see the mixture of fear and wonder”

“You can see their brains tossing up whether I’m a good midget or one of the evil ones”




“Once they realise they’ve been staring for too long they turn their heads to the sky and stare at it cause they don’t knot what else to do”

“After 5 seconds it occurs to them that there’s no good reason to be staring at the sky so they find something on the ground worth looking at until we pass each other”

“Happens every time”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *