Barnaby Joyce talked down from the roof of parliament house

Emergency crews were called to parliament house today after Barnaby Joyce was seen pacing the roof in a distraught fashion.

Safety crews quickly set up a perimeter but it was PM Malcolm Turnbull who managed to calm Mr Joyce and bring him down from the ledge of the not very tall building.

“Don’t do it Barn. Think of your constituents and how they would suffer if you were to do anything rash”

“You’re the King of New England”




It was a successful tactic as Barnaby trudged back from the ledge but many believe the PM was secretly hoping Mr Joyce fell as it would made the whole mess go away.

Mr Joyce’s career is in tatters at the moment as he is accused of leaving a woman he no longer loves in order to be with one he does.

The fact he used to pay her has only made it worse.