Prime Minister no one looks up to says cricketers need to be better role models

The fallout from the ball scratching saga continues to dominate headlines across the country with every man and his dog weighing in on the disgrace.

No stranger to disgrace himself, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnball chimed in on the debate saying it was the nation’s cricketers who needed to set a better example to the Australia people.

Despite letting his countryman down ever since he took office, Turnball saw it as a perfect opportunity to deflect attention from his own shortcomings.




“These cricketer’s were our nation’s heroes. Me, I’m just the leader of this country.”

“They provide us with endless hours of joy and free entertainment and the realisation that they would let us down like that goes to show how little they care about Australia”

“It’s a feeling I can really relate to”

Mr Turnball also admitted that he’d done next to nothing since being elected, but doesn’t mean he’s not allowed to blame our cricketers for the shape our country is in.

“I may be guilty of achieving nothing substantial while in office, of bowing down to the far right of my party and even of constantly helping the rich of this country get richer while the middle class stands still”




“But these cricketers are the real disgrace”

The distraction has proved highly convenient for the PM as he is currently on the brink of losing 30 consecutive news polls.

Meaning if an election was called anytime soon, the pied point piper would be leading his rats over the cliffs of a lost election.