Highway cop forced to smile and wave while escorting Comm Games relay baton

The Commonwealth Games relay baton made it’s way through the streets of Brisbane today before finishing it’s journey to the Gold Coast on Wednesday.

Easily entertained crowds lined the streets to catch a momentary glimpse of someone running by and a heavy police presence was on hand to prevent anyone from intervening.

Not known for their decency or compassionate human values meant the highway patrol officers were bound to be in for a hard day at the office.




No stranger to sticking the boot in, Officer Mitchell Jennings said acting like a pleasant human being for the cheering crowds had been his toughest assignment yet.

“I didn’t sign up for this kind of thing” he told us with a face so scowled up it looked like his eyebrows were about to join his moustache.

“I signed up to hide behind bushes and book people for going 95 in a 90 zone. Or for not coming to a complete stop at a stop sign”

“Plus everyone is cheering and expecting me to be happy but i’m used to swinging my dick and asking condescending questions to show you how powerful I am”

“There’s not a single person here than i’m allowed to intimidate or lord over”

“It’s depressing”




One of the relay runners, Susie Bradshaw from the Brisbane suburb of New Farm, was given the honour of carrying the baton after she bravely beat cancer for the third time.

Her story of suffering, misery and weakness in the face of a evil disease was read out over a loud speaker as she ran along.

Finally giving Officer Jennings something to smile about.