So much for the ban on single use plastic bags

A baby boomer was left disgruntled last night after finding out single use plastics bags still dominant the news on his TV screen.

Eric Smigel, who is more senile than man, quickly calmed down after realising the show was about highly toxic garbage that kills the life in any environment and not about the bags you carry your groceries in.




“I actually quite liked the show once I gave it a chance.” he admitted with the help of 4 cans of Tooheys New.

“And I’ll be the first to admit these women are very convenient for single use but I also know how toxic they are with any environment they come into contact with”

“That’s not to say they aren’t beautiful. Hell some of them are so fine I’d jerk off their dads just to see where they came from”

“But any man who reckons there’s a wife or mother amongst them has probably taken too many hit to the head on a rugby field”




The source of his confusion was none other than Australia’s latest season of The Bachelor, where 25 plastic fantastics all compete with each other for the true love of a single man.

Most are deemed unsuitable and get tossed back into the polluted ocean of life, taking years to eventually break down into an emotional pile of surgically deformed rubbish.

Except for a lucky few who get recycled into next years Bachelorette or Bachelor in Paradise and the endless cycle of waste continues.