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February 22, 2019
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Author: Emmis Tilton

National

Gillette hire Kerri-Anne as spokesman after she implies entire group should stop raping

by Emmis Tilton - Leave a Comment

Scum of the earth Kerri-Anne Kennerley has landed on her feet after her recent unforgivable comments regarding Aboriginal people. Shaving giant Gillette, who recently ran a campaign suggesting men need …

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National

Aboriginal gets upset after his imagination guesses what the invasion in 1788 was like

by Emmis Tilton - Leave a Comment

An Aboriginal has allowed his imagination to upset him today. Thinking of the atrocities committed against people he believes he’s connected to meant 28 year old Brodie Walker was bound …

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World

Hysterical bloke actually thinks climate change is going to wipe out humanity

by Emmis Tilton

“The world world is going to be in flames if we don’t do something about climate change soon.” said 26 year Tom Sampson to the 3 friends who sat across …

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Politics

Australia will never be safe until the Government has power to do as it pleases

by Emmis Tilton - 1 Comment

Australia will never be safe until the government has the power to do as it the pleases, the Australian government has confirmed today. The news comes after parliament pushed through …

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National / Sports

Team that constantly loses says it’s not always about winning

by Emmis Tilton

Australian cricket is in turmoil. The fallout from the ball tampering saga still lingers and many experts are now unsure how to play the game going forward. Former cricket captain …

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Sex and Relationships

Emmis uncensored: “My bumble date said 3 words to me that made my balls explode”

by Emmis Tilton - 2 Comments.

Every week I’m treated to a story on my apple news app by Nadia Bokody. She’s a writer for Mama Mia and the stories revolve around her sexual adventures. It …

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Sex and Relationships

So much for the ban on single use plastic bags

by Emmis Tilton

A baby boomer was left disgruntled last night after finding out single use plastics bags still dominant the news on his TV screen. Eric Smigel, who is more senile than …

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World

#MeToo leader to receive fair trial and due process after having sex with underage boy

by Emmis Tilton - 1 Comment

Leaders of the #MeToo movement have called for calm and due process after leader Asia Argento was accused of having sex with an underage child actor. Ms Argento, who was …

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Politics

Stop sensationalising the news says man who compares anyone who disagrees with him to Hitler

by Emmis Tilton - 2 Comments.

The Nazi’s are everywhere. That’s according to 28 year old perpetual student Thomas Creedence and it’s only a matter of time before we’re over run. “It is obvious we are …

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National

#NotAllAfricans trends after Africans refuse to take personal responsibility for woman’s death

by Emmis Tilton

Hashtag #NotAllAfricans has received a social media backlash today after critics blamed Africans for not taking personal responsibility for the violent death of a Melbourne woman on the weekend. The …

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